The Last Days

Today, my university is giving me the opportunity to attend a lecture/dinner on Islam and Christianity in America. I am so fortunate to (have) attend(ed) this university that care so much for my exposure to new thoughts, ideas, and concepts. 

With graduation 5 days away, I have never been more ready to face what the world has for me. I am ready, with a good head on my shoulders and a strong heart in my chest. Passion bleeds from every pore. Fate favors the fearless, and because I am a Broncho, I fear nothing. 

I am so blessed to have called the University of Central Oklahoma my home for the past 4 years. But, I really am looking forward to finding my new home out in the world. 

Pre Post-Grad

There is a lot of emotion that surrounds graduation, and I feel like at some point pre, during, or post graduation ceremony, I'm absolutely going to lose my will to hold in the uncontrollable sobbing. 

You see, college has been 4 years of absolute Hell for me, but it has also been the best 4 of my life. I feel like a 2 year old who has no sippy cup and my blanket is definitely in the washer. College isn't going to be here anymore, and that thought, while AWESOME, is also pretty scary. 

I am really thankful to have such a lust for life. I'm in love with living and living to the fullest. I can't wait to live a dedicated life, but at the same time, the uncertainty surrounding graduation and finding a job and where I will end up is mildly traumatizing. 

Knowing who I want to be is a good start, and I am glad that I figured that out as early as I did. Live the life you want, and hopefully, the rest will fall into place. Good luck and good vibes. 

It's Not Forever: Fostering From an Outside Perspective

People, let me tell ya 'bout my best friend, Krystle. She's wonderful, I have known her since we were 12; young and fresh to the world. She's a role model, a hard worker, determined to lead a better life, and to achieve the things she wants out of it. 

She is happily married, and since they got married, they have been trying to have a baby. Something they have had trouble with. You see, Krystle has Poly-Cystic Ovary Syndrome, and that makes it very difficult to get pregnant. (Also, April is Infertility Awareness Month, so, be sure to get your learn on!)

They tried and tried, and it hasn't happened yet. So, Krystle and David made the choice to foster children through the Department of Human Services. As her best friend,  (we are pretty much family) I was elated to have more kiddos in my life. I like children and I was excited to meet this 8 year old girl and her baby sister. 

It's been a few months and realistically the girls will be going home soon. It makes me emotional, because I made so much room in my heart for these girls. I love(d) them like they were blood, because I learned at an early age that blood isn't always thicker than water. I want amazing things for these girls, I want there to be happiness and freedom. I want great choices and great things for them. 

It's been difficult to know that at some point I have to let go. I can't imagine how hard it might be to be the actual foster parent. Holding children in your heart for a season of your life has to be the best and worst thing you can do. My heart aches for Krystle; for the girls that will go home and lose her in their life. I feel so much, for someone so little. 

We will all do great things, and I can't wait to see where we all go. 

Gentle Marisa: Writing About Others

Marisa Mohi is a friend of mine. Someone I greatly admire, and love to spend time with. This woman is fascinating; there's always a witty remark, and a story to tell. Recently I got the opportunity to interview her for a presentation in one of my classes. 

I have always been fascinated by those who always have a story in their back pocket. Partially, because my favorite compliment that I receive is on my ability to tell stories in such a way that I never lose momentum. 

Marisa is the kind of person who is 100% authentic. All the time, no questions. It's really cool, and moving to know that people like that are here, and around me. It seems important to note that I can't think of a time Marisa didn't have me absolutely glued to the edge of the seat in anticipation. It's really awesome to know that some people have that natural ability to hold you in the moment. And she does, in abundance. 

So, to Gentle Marisa, I thank you for your contribution to my education, and of course, thank you for all of your stories. May they be plentiful. 

Hail Alma Mater: From Probation to Honors

So, I'm graduating from college. Weird, right? Four years and 35K later, and it's time for me to shake hands with the president (#PBetz) and take my diploma case. I'm reflecting now on how different things are from 2012 to 2016. 

Many people don't know this, but when I first came to the University of Central Oklahoma, I had almost nothing. I didn't have many friends, my dad and I had almost no relationship, and my mom had already passed away. I was also in the midst of leaving an abusive relationship, and the pieces that I had of my life were falling apart. 

My abusive boyfriend had hurt me, emotionally, physically, mentally. I was broken, and no one was around to put me back together. I had alienated my friends and family because I was with him. So, I got into college and I left. I moved into a terrible apartment, alone, and began my college journey. 

In 2012, I was different. Having just left that relationship, I needed something to validate me. So, I joined a sorority. A sure fire way to meet people, make friends and get involved. I had been in a ton of activities in high school, I could definitely do it in college. 

I finished my first semester of undergraduate with a 1.71 GPA. For those of you who might not be sure how GPA works, that's not good. I had joined a sisterhood, but with minimal support, and still dealing with the trauma of my past, I was struggling in school. When you do poorly for a semester, you are put on Academic Probation, a scary word for "you're up shit creek if you don't get it together." I was having nervous breakdowns, and I couldn't deal with the constant pressures that collegiate life was throwing at me. All of that changed when I finally had professors that took the time with me. They taught me things in a way I understood them, and they made me speak up. With a new found confidence, my GPA skyrocketed to a low 3 point after my second semester. 

Two more years passed of more successes, and some losses. Hard choices, lots of tears, all nighters, and coffee were all present for these. Group projects and pain-staking details, until it was time for me to start the final chapter: my senior year. 

I can't tell you how many laughs, tears, jokes, stories, mistakes, and memories we're made, shared, and told throughout these four years. There's been so many people who have been in my life for just a season, but most importantly, there are those who will last a lifetime. 

I graduate 15 days from now, a member of an honor society, for high GPAs among the American Advertising Federation members. I graduate with a bachelors in Strategic Communication, and a found passion for Political Science, Philosophy, and Sociology. I graduate knowing I did my best, and worked my butt off for this. 

Rubbing Compound: Today I Screwed Up

Have you ever had a moment of "oh, sh*t," so loud that it physically made you sick? I have. 

The first time I remember hearing this sound was just after getting my license, driving for the first time without my dad. I was around 17, and I think I probably knew everything. Well it turns out, I didn't know how to back the Buick out of a driveway without taking out a beautiful lighthouse mailbox. 

I hopped in my champagne colored Buick Century, and put it in reverse. The driveway I was coming out of was wonky, and curved, something I wasn't used to at 17. All the drivers education classes couldn't have prepared me for the noise I heard: a deafening scrape from the car and an inhuman screech from my mouth.

The mailbox, a large lighthouse shaped thing, toppled and snapped like a twig under the weight of my two ton beauty. I sobbed, apologetically, to its owner. I was mortified, and even more so when I discovered the red and blue paint transfers onto my baby. How was I going to explain this to my dad? He would be furious and take away my beautiful Sargeant (the car's name). 

A wonderful woman named Jeannie fixed this for me. You see, there is a product called Rubbing Compound that is specifically made for taking paint off paint. It worked like a charm, and I didn't have to tell my dad. What a win, right? Wrong. This particular day, Karma had decided to show me who was the boss. 

Later that night, post-paint and a trip to the auto store, I decided to head home. I took a wrong turn down a dark, dead end, no curb road. In my attempt at a 'K' turn, I smashed the back end of my beloved Sargeant into a telephone pole. Again, resulting in tears and panic. There was no way rubbing compound would fix this. The tail light was smashed and the bumper bent. It was a disaster. My father was definitely going to murder me, and worse, take away my car and ground me. 

I couldn't have that, so -being a stupid 17 year old- I lied. I told my dad that I didn't know how it happened. I told him that someone hit me at McDonald's. He never believed me, but he finally accepted my story at that time. I can't remember now if I ever told him I wrecked the car, and I guess it doesn't matter anymore. 

Last night, after a little late night sushi with my friend Chelsea, I stopped to clean out my car at a car wash. 7 years and almost as many cars later, I heard that familiar scrape and my stomach dropped again. A red stripe across my black Corporal BB, a Hyundai Elantra still mostly owned by Tinker Federal Credit Union. I got out to inspect the damage and I realized I knew exactly what to do. 

Today, I sat on the ground at a car wash, after a trip to Autozone, with a can of rubbing compound and a towel, working off the red paint from my bumper. I reflected back to 17, and all the mistakes I have made since then. Some of them big, almost none of them able to be removed with a towel and some elbow grease. I realized how thankful I was for Jeannie and a life lesson, that would truly last a lifetime. 

1213: How Traveling Alone in Chicago Changed Me

I'm from Oklahoma City. A map dot, encompassed in green pastures and oil field pump jacks. A cozy place, but a place where things aren't always "up to date". There is a great thing happening in OKC right now. A renaissance if you will, to revitalize the city, and make it better. I love the city, but lately I have been feeling like I need to spread my wings. 

I landed in Chicago on a warm Monday evening. I navigated Chicago's Midway airport, found my checked bag, and headed out to the Orange Line. Follow that with a train change to the Red Line, and a short walk from the L station at Grand and State, to my hostel: The Freehand Chicago. 

I check in with a very friendly guy named Alec. He is nice, and helpful. A breath of fresh air to me, after having walked half a mile in the wrong direction, and feeling lost in a giant city with a 30 pound bag on my shoulder. I finally get to make my way to my room, 1213, a 4 bunk room right smack dab in the middle of The Magnificent Mile, with a view of Bloomingdales Home store. 

My first "roomie" in this hostel is from Istanbul, Turkey. She's also in marketing and she seems very sweet. She tells me she will be up early; and when I left at 6:30 AM, she was still asleep. I slept great in a twin sized bed with 1 pillow. 

Fast forward through AAF's Mosaic Career Fair, where I met with and talked to recruiters from a ton of agencies in Chicago. I had a blast there, but that's another post for another day. 

I was exhausted, not enough sleep resulted in me really wanting to nap. So, I did. 4 hours later, I had 2 new roomies. One, Lisa, from Minneapolis by way of the Bahamas. The other, Monica, from Germany. Monica has never been to the States before, and asked me for some suggestions on what to see and do in Chi. We chatted about Europe, and Chicago, and my experience in the states. We talked about eating alone (which I did, and it was amazing!), and how I figure if I can do that, I can do anything. Then she said something to me about traveling, and becoming a person. She said, "it's all about ending up with a story, and I think you will have a good one."

Becoming an adult and getting ready to make the transition to post-graduate has been really hard for me. My security blanket is disappearing and I am struggling to sell myself to others. At the end of the day, we are all stories. That's what we have and what we share with one another.

As I lay here, listening to the sounds of the city 12 stories up, I have never felt so humble. I am moved by my passions for advertising, which brought me here in the first place. I am moved by my passion for travel, and my versatility in all situations. And finally, I am moved by my love for  other people's stories. I am moved by my interest in others, and my passion to know where others come from. 

So, thank you Monica. For wandering the city for a cup of coffee with me. For trying something new and getting an Uber with me. For taking the Red Line for one stop with me. Thank you for broadening my horizons, and letting me be a little piece of your experience here in America. When I come to Germany, I will definitely look you up. 

"We are all stories in the end, just make it a good one." -Doctor Who 

It Does Require a Vote: Elections and Advertising

And So, it is just past Super Tuesday and the polls and rumors are going insane. In my home state, the democratic primary is kind of like a mystery. Everyone has heard of it, but very few people see it. The majority of this state votes red; and then there is me: a very well educated 20-something with a bleeding heart for all things helpful toward my fellow person.

(This is a photo of how OK voted in the 2012 presidential election; the first presidential election I voted in!)

Because I'm not going to turn this blog post into some sort of "all republicans are wrong, and all liberals are right" (or vice versa) finger-pointing fest, I think now is a great point to introduce the point of the post! 

I'm going to critique some political advertisements! I will start with local (Oklahoma) spots and end on national spots for the presidential nomination. To make things a little more interesting, I will separate them by color/political affiliation. I will also only be reviewing political advertisements I have actually seen, so I am sorry if there is a candidate I might miss out on.

Local Okies: Republicans

So, here we are. The only local election we had during the primary was an election for court clerk in my county. Rick Warren had the only commercials I saw, and I can't even begin to tell you how obnoxious they are. I watch the local news channel for 4.5 hours every morning, and for the past few days, I have probably seen his commercial 20 times a day. I can't even show you, because the commercial is not online. I can't let it go though, and I had to make my thoughts known.

Editor's Note: I saw no democratic advertisements for the court clerk office.


National: Democrats

Bernie Sanders:

Well, I voted for Bernie. I guess you could say I #FeelTheBern, that had nothing to do with his commercials, and everything to do with how he communicates with and encourages unity and younger voters. We the people, right? 

My favorite commercial, "Together". It is quite the emotional visual, all about making things happen in our country together. Being a united people, not segregated by age, experience, wealth, passions, or skin colors. It matters to me, because unless we stand united, we fall divided. 

Hillary Clinton:

I didn't vote for Hillary because she didn't do well at collecting the "young" vote. She reached out to us, but she reached out in a way that was more "Netflix and Vote", than "People working 40 hours a week, shouldn't live in poverty".

I really love Morgan Freeman, and I need to know how to get him to narrate my life. So, props to Hillary for getting this really interesting thing to happen for you. Nothing to do with Hillary for me, it is everything to do with Morgan Freeman!

National: Republicans

Ted Cruz: 

I had to use the "butter cow" image, because to be honest, I find it hilariously American that it exists. Butter sculptures aside, Ted Cruz is America's evangelical candidate. He has the support of the Tea Party, and the majority of the Christians. 

In all fairness, I am not as creeped out now by Ted Cruz as I used to be. I don't like the support he receives from the extremes, and I don't really get it. The commercial is a pretty boxed response. The lens flares, and the music is basically it, as far as political commercials.

Donald Trump:

Donald Trump. Where do I even begin? The spray tan? The hair? The wall? The sheer racism? Who knows. Apparently we are building a wall and Mexico is paying for it. Trump and I don't share a lot of ideals, mainly because I have them. I haven't actually seen an ad for Trump, here in Oklahoma. But I have seen Trump's campaign miss spell my state's information each time he has come here. 

Three Times... THREE. Spell Check must not be for the 1 percent. 

Marco Rubio:

He is actually kind of cute, right? In this photo though, he kind of looks like he is in pain/trying not to poop his pants. Not that it bothers me, but I would have voted for him had I been a registered Republican. He seems like the least insane one. 

I didn't actually see this one, but I refuse to post the American/Canadian morning commercial. I don't know, I hope you enjoy it.

So there you have it. My review of a couple of political advertisements, and some of the candidates. I hope you all get who you want, unless you want Trump. 

A Snowball's Chance in Hell: Ads That Give me Feelings

I really love advertising. There are constantly ads that pull my heart strings, and inspire me to be more awesome. I have a "Top Ten" that constantly changes and grows as new content becomes available. I have seem some great ads lately, and I want to share them with all of you.

GE: A Snowball's Chance in Hell
Okay, so I am no engineer, but I am really obsessed with the idea of living with an "un-impossible" mindset. BBDO produces some really amazing advertisements and I love the work they do in experiential marketing as well. They are coming to a career fair I will be at in a couple of weeks, and I hope to make a great connection.

Extra Gum: The Story of Sarah and Juan
Energy BBDO brings it again with this commercial. I love this love, and even more that it represents people of color and brings up inter-racial relationships. Energy BBDO is a wonderful company who will be at a career fair I am attending in a couple of weeks. I hope to make a new connection, because that could be a dream job. I also really like their experiential department.

Honey Maid: Unconditional Love

Okay, listen. I am obsessed with this commercial, because I love seeing more exposure for "non-traditional" families. I love seeing homosexual relationships and people of color featured in commercials because it doesn't happen enough. Droga5 brings us great feelings of hope and love, and this is definitely a commercial for graham crackers. 

A Year in Search: Google's Heartwarming Video

I love reflecting on the previous year, accomplishments and some heart-stopping pain. The hope that comes after a tragedy, and the banding together of human beings to be human beings. 72andSunny brings us the real questions; what we search for defines who we are.

Angel Soft: Happy Father's Day, Mom

Deutsch hit me with a ton of bricks on this one. I was sobbing in an office alone after this commercial came across my YouTube ads. As many people know, my mom was a single parent, and she passed away when I was 16. This ad really gave me something to hold on to, and brings tears to my eyes again, as my biological dad passed away last July. 

Advertising is really an outlet for me. I put creativity and feelings in, and this is the kind of thing that comes out. I am so glad to have found my calling/passion so early on in life. I truly believe this is what I was meant to do. 

"I would rather die of passion, than of boredom." -Vincent Van Gogh

Gun Control: Controlling Ourselves

I really do try to stay away from political things online because I know there are several views out there, but I saw this gem on Twitter today, and I have some things to say about it. 

1) College is the time of your life when your world view should be dumped on its face. College and education as a whole is the time where you should "go there" and push the boundaries of all you know. 

2) Someone shouldn't have to stop teaching a subject because someone is butt hurt by it. My roommate didn't stop eating pizza when I went on a diet, I just don't eat the pizza (that often). If you can't control your emotions about a topic, don't take that class. If it's required? Suck it up. Life is full of things that you won't like. Get over it. 

3) Educators shouldn't be asked to censor themselves for fear of being KILLED. You should teach your children to grow up and not kill people. 

4) Yeah, mental health is a problem, I agree it needs to be addressed. The stigma and affordability and accessibility to aid for mental health isn't exactly the best. That being said, my parent(s) also raised me to understand that things don't always go my way, and I learned to accept "losing" at an early age. 

5) I'm not after "your" guns, but something needs to be done. And yes, criminals will get them either way, but that doesn't mean we should just sit and wait to be gunned down. People are going on killing sprees frequently. Okies want to complain about earthquakes, but we can't complain that people are dying everyday from gun related deaths?

6) I am a firearms owner. I have had 3 firearms passed down to me by both of my parents. I am responsible with them, and I respect them enough to know that if I fire one of them, I better have a damn good reason. 

And finally,

7) Please. educate yourself and your children to not kill people. I don't want to die because I rejected a man, or because someone is pissed off, and I damn sure don't want my friends to get killed because they are black, and I don't want my friends to die because they practice a certain religion.

Respect one another enough to let them live. Respect one another enough to not kill them in cold blood. Be a human being. That's all I ask. 

10 Things Keeping Me Alive Right Now

It was the best of times (college), it was the worst of times (college). Things are confusing and scary, and sometimes I don't even know what day it is. For all these reasons, I decided to make a list of all the things keeping me together right now. Here you have it; 15 things keeping me alive right now:

1. Sleeping- it seems stereotypical, but my 8 hours and I are super close. I need them, and so does everyone else around me for fear of me being a terrible human being. 

2. Netflix- also cliche, but also totally necessary. Whether it's background noise for a project (OITNB), or getting into the next episode of Mad Men, yes Netflix, I am still watching. 

3. Best Friends- cheesy and cliche, but sometimes having a random emoji BF with a fellow exec member, or reaching out for some words of wisdom keeps me grounded. 

4. Working Out- it feels odd to write about this, because I haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks, but working out makes me feel better, and it gives me a good social network. 

5. Texting My BFF- No matter what is happening, I'm guaranteed a good reaction gif or capital letter excitement from her. I love Laura, she's my

Life. 

6. Travelling- nothing keeps me grounded and ready like exploring the world. I can't begin to tell you how the pieces of my soul float back together when the plane takes off. 

7. Looking at #Goals- Keeping in mind what I want in life, and browsing it regularly, reminds me of where I want to be. 

8. Taking a Minute- taking time out when I'm frustrated or emotional has really helped me keep my cool when things get hard. It's a good life, sometimes you have to remember that. 

9. Keeping a Countdown- Sometimes all it takes is something to remind you there's only so many days until your next adventure. 

10. Chips and Salsa- I love Chips and Salsa. They just make me happier. 

Drive Me Home: When to Say When

I love to have fun. I am almost always down for a good time, and I am always open to spend quality time with friends. Sometimes, that means going to one of the most upscale bars in Oklahoma City, and having a bar tab that could have paid for most of your cable bill. On this particular evening, one of my professors, the amazingly talented and wonderful Dr. Terry Clark, was set to give the midnight toast at Ludivine OKC. Now, Clark is a funny guy. One of a kind, spunky, and filled with a wit that will burn you if you get too close. So, naturally, he compliments my personality well. When you get an invitation to have a drink with your friends (shoutout to Mason and Harold!) and to witness a college professor rapping, you don't turn it down. 

So, I pulled up the bar about 2.5 hours before midnight, and told the bar back Connor, that I wanted a drink and that I didn't care what he brought me. 3  rounds later, just before midnight, my other friend Justin came in to the bar. He immediately asked me if he needed to take me home. I said yes. That becomes more important later on in this story. 

Justin and I are close. He knows me pretty well, and after 4 years of friendship, I trust him to take care of me. He got me home safe, and even got up early this morning to take me back to my car and get breakfast with me. It is important to note that I was pretty obviously intoxicated. I knew it, my professors knew it, the bar back knew it, and my friends knew it. If I am too much when I am sober, I am even more of a handful drunk. But, I know where I stand. 

I don't drive when I have had too much.

I don't get behind the wheel of a car and endanger lives. I always have a DD, and the backup of buying an UBER if someone can't come get me. I believe in owning where you're at, and I think to be a truly authentic person, you must understand that sometimes, you're going to drink too much, too fast, and you need to have something to fall back on. People were concerned about me last night, and while I am a little embarrassed, I also know that it means that people care and don't want to see me get hurt or hurt others. Drinking and driving is serious, and while I am not necessarily the poster child for the Moral Compass that points due-north, I appreciate that my life or someone else's could have been ended. 

I urge you to always have a plan. I didn't go to the bar last night with the intention of turning up too hard. I didn't go with the intention of interacting with my peers a little intoxicated, I went to have a ton of fun with my friends. And I did, but fun can come at a cost. So please, make sure you're safe. Make sure you have a plan, and if you're looking for me, I will be the one at the end of the bar, nursing a Moscow Mule, or a whiskey neat. 

Official Review: The Best and Worst of Super Bowl 50

It was a slightly chilly evening, but the bar was warm. I was looking pretty cute, and I was ready to see some action in the commercials and in the football game. I had picked up my friend Barbara, and headed out to a local bar. A Moscow Mule and some beer-cheese dip later, I found myself with a pleasant buzz and a great view of a TV. While I brought my friend Barbara for the moral support of not sitting in a bar by myself, it turned out to be a visual joke of the evening. She was yelling at the football games, I was yelling at the commercials. I love football, but I love commercials more.

I live tweeted the Super Bowl with the hashtag #AshleyDoesSuperBowl50, and I shared a lot of thoughts as they were happening, so if you would like to check that out, you can do so here!

So, here we go, my feedback on the best, and worst of Super Bowl 50:

Top 5:

1) Jeep- I have always wanted a Jeep Wrangler with a detachable top, and Jeep really brought the emotional side of Jeep ownership to the forefront this year. I enjoyed it, and I can totally get with it.
2) Wix- I really enjoyed the "Adception" here of including some of the most popular ads in recent history. Really fun to watch.
3) Mini- Okay, so I don't know why the car commercials this year had all the feelings mixed in with them, but I am really loving it. Mini "bucked the stereotypes" and I love it so, so much.
4) T-Mobile- I like the play off of Steve Harvey, and I think it is really funny that he is making so much money off his mistake. I just thought it was a lot funnier than the Kim K commercial last year.
5) Hyundai- First of all, you can sign me up for anything that includes looking at Ryan Reynolds for any period of time at all. Second, I think Hyundai might be making a transition from family car, to target the child-less millennials. I love my Hyundai and I have to congratulate them on a commercial that grabbed attention.

Bottom 5:

1) Mountain Dew Kickstarter- Puppybabymonkey is going to haunt my dreams. 100%. It caught my attention, but I probably won't ever buy it as an open form of protest.
2) NFL Super Bowl Babies- The only thing that scares me more than puppybabymonkey, is babies. Also, it should be a federal offense to remix "Kiss From a Rose."
3) Doritos- First of all, Doritos are really good, but this commercial really wasn't. Everyone was trying to be weird and it just didn't work for anyone really well.
4) Skittles- This is mainly here because I am bitter that "Dream On" was stuck in my head for days after the Bowl was over.
5) PayPal/Quicken Loans- Both of these were aimed to be about tech savvy millennials, but really to me, PayPal (which I use all the time) was trying too hard, and Quicken Loans cam off a bit like "let's do 2008's financial crisis again, but with an app!" Just missed the mark for me. 

Honorable Mentions

1) Audi- I can appreciate anything that gives me good feelings and nods to David Bowie. RIP Starman.
2) Heinz- The best part of this commercial is the kid dressed as a ketchup packet. It's perfect and a visual gag and it is wonderful.
3) Prius- It was a good effort, and I appreciate the funny they put into it. Not good enough for the top 5, but worth mentioning.


Let's Talk Sh*t:
There was more than one commercial this year that offered the audience of Super Bowl 50, an opportunity to learn about Super Bowels. That's right, I am talking about poop. Two different companies had commercials for two different issues: going too much, and not going enough. So, whether you can't go at all, or if it feels like Taco Tuesday took your lower intestine too seriously, they might have a great suggestion for you.

Physics: Breathing at 30,000 Feet

I love flying. I love airports and traveling. I love TSA security checks and I even love baggage claim. I don't know if this feeling will ever go away, or if I am going to have to travel many more miles before it wears off. I love flying. 

The idea that I can get about 500 miles away in about 3 hours absolutely fascinates me. I'm even writing this post on a S80 American Airlines flight from DFW to STL. But even with the thought of spending time just sitting, being served a drink, and listening to TEDTalks, my favorite part of flying is enjoying the view. Between attractive business men and the photogenic plane wing against a sunset, the "friendly skies" have a lot to offer. None of this is compared to the view of night flights and the ground below. On a clear night, I feel like I'm looking down into the galaxy. The cities below glitter like stars and constellations, and the darkness around them is dotted with small lights, like a cosmic runway for me to get lost in. It's truly beautiful to me.

I didn't always deal this well with flying, in fact, it used to absolutely terrify me. I blame an early life exposure to "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet", an episode of The Twilight Zone featuring one of the scariest monsters I could imagine. It also features William Shatner as a younger man plagued with a fear of flying. The episode ends like most, with a mind boggling mystery, and Rod Serling saying "something something something, in The Twilight Zone". The monster used to make me cry, and I still sometimes think I will see something on the wing of the plane, but these days, it's going well. 

​

By the end of March, I will have logged a lot of miles since August 2015, traveling from OKC to Chicago, Kansas City, St. Louis, Chicago (again), and finally New York City (and back, of course). So, bring on the TSA checks, bring on the cramped seats, and bring on the airline food, because at the end of the day, the destination is so worth sitting back, relaxing, and enjoying the flight. 

Official Review: The Best and Worst Commercials of Super Bowl 49

Chips and queso. The seconds ticking on the clock. The clinking of glassware, and aluminum cans fills the air around you. Companies paid millions for the opportunity to take 30 seconds of your time. 49 million to be exact. That works out to about 1.6 Million per second. From laughter, and even tears (thanks Nationwide) the 2015 Super Bowl advertisements kept all of their spectators on the edge of seats, not knowing what would come next.

In 2015, I used the hashtag #AshleyDoesTheSuperBowl to track my tweets of what I appreciated and what I didn't necessarily click with as far as the ads. From Invisible Mindy, which didn't really turn out how I thought it would, to Kim Kardashian's T-Mobile Ad, some of the 2015 Bowl ads left a lot to be desired. My personal favorites included this Fiat spot, this happy Coke ad, and (my personal favorite) this domestic violence awareness advert that really changed the way I thought about advertisements to help those around us.

As Super Bowl 50 quickly approaches, I find myself more ready than ever to track the ads for this year. I will be live tweeting from a bar in the nice neighborhood of Oklahoma City, using the hashtag #AshleyDoesSuperBowl50. If you are curious about what I have to say about this years content, or you just want to see my all caps tweets on game technicalities, head on over to the Twitterverse, and give me a follow at @ashleytrattner. Tune to CBS at 5:30 PM Central Standard Time to catch the game and Coldplay during the half-time show.  I will be at the bar with a cold glass in hand. Carbs don't count as much on Super Bowl Sunday.

Proof That You've Lived: Ashley "Fattner" and Body Image

Kids are mean. Trust me. It was kids that nicknamed me Ashley Fattner growing up. It was kids who teased me about my weight. Even at a young age, I was fat. I had an okay diet, I just had fat on my body. Needless to say, it ruined my spirit. I began to hate my body, while I was still in the single digits of life. Before my body had even started developing. These bullies had put an idea in my head, but no one could have been worse to me than I was, and still am. It is something I have to work on every single day; teaching myself to talk to myself in a way similar to those I love. If I would never tell my best friend that she looks disgusting, why would I say it to myself?

"Jealousy will never serve you, because we all have our own paths." 

Self deprecation is a very common thing, and how we do it these days, speaks volumes about our society. For instance, I tell my trainer that if I had her body, I would wear underwear to school. She has a great body; strong, fit, and lean. What I am really saying to her, has nothing to do with her, and everything to do with me; Comparing her body to mine. I am just starting on my fit journey, and she is practically a Sherpa, leading others towards theirs. She is there to coach me, not to be a beacon of envy. She is there to say come with me, not look at me.

"You don't need to defend where you are in life, at all." 

So, I have a lot of issues with my weight. It's been 23 years in the making, and with some of the things that surround us, and the way we not only talk to other people, but to ourselves, doesn't help. So my trainer Stephanie, shared an amazing video (right here) and last night, after a very empowering sweat sesh, I went home to my zucchini pasta, to get a little perspective. As I watched this video, I felt heat in my stomach, recognizing some behaviors that Kathryn talks about. The social media fat shaming, the self deprecation, and one of her quotes really hit home with me. "You don't need to defend where you are in life, at all." She means that I don't owe anyone an explanation for my body, because it is just that, mine. But this phrase resonates other places as well. You don't owe anyone an explanation or an apology for anything in your life. Yeah, I started a diet. Yeah, I am worried about my health, that's why I work out almost everyday. No, I don't owe you anything.

Another great point of this video, is how the ideal woman, the "real" woman, is portrayed in the media. Victoria's Secret Models are no more real than Lane Bryant Models, are no more real than myself; the tall, plus sized Ashley Trattner, who struggles to find clothes that fit my length, and my width. I have broad shoulders, and strong legs. Sometimes pants fit me around the waist, sometimes they don't fit at all. It all depends.

"Anything wrong with any part of your body, is just proof that you have lived."

When I was a freshman in college, I struggled with an eating disorder. I would binge on food, then feel so terrible, that I would force myself to throw it back up. I was at a low point, lower than low. All the scars on my hands, all the bruises that come and go from my legs and arms, the freckles, the gray hairs, the knee pain and the shoulder pain; it is a reminder that I have lived through and survived the things I have. My shoulders have held the weight of the world. My feet have touched the ground, and helped me travel. My hands do work, they help me eat, and help me do things everyday. My belly, holds in nourishment, and my arms pick up and hold my loved ones. The vessel my soul has come to, this meat suit as Kathryn calls it, is mine. It gets hurt to protect me. Why wouldn't I love it as much in return? Be kind to yourself, do good and do well.

Ashley

For A Better Us: The YMCA and 'Campaign Season'

I work here. Every morning from 4:45 AM- 9 AM. Yeah, it is early. But it is also important.

I walk in the doors, a little groggy, at 4:45, and greet my co-workers in solidarity. The morning shift involves turning on lights and making sure the facility is ready for the day. Lights in the gym, the group exercise room; locker rooms open, steam room on. It is really about muscle memory. But there is more. Some days are easier than others: swim lesson registration days, and camp registration days can be stressful. Other days, are easy, a handful of 'good mornings' and 'hellos'. Spending 20 minutes every morning talking to two 12 year olds that hang out here before finishing their walk to school. Sharing a trivia fact with one member named Rip, and knowing the nicknames of other morning members.

I see the same people every single day. We have Bill, the brilliant neurosurgeon. We have "Judge", the former city judge. I even see the city manager every day. I see people ranging from retirees who drive buses to keep themselves busy, to single moms who haven't had a day off in years. The YMCA is a gym. We have youth sports. We have group fitness classes. But we are more than a gym, we are a cause; and here I will tell you why.

No one gets turned away from the YMCA for the inability to pay for a program, or membership. Last year, we awarded more than $400,000 in financial assistance to our community. We made it possible for children in our community to play soccer and basketball, and learn to swim. We provide a safe place for children to spend their before and after school times. We provide spaces in our summer camps that allow young children and teens to spend their summer doing good, instead of being bored at home. This past basketball season, almost 3,000 children played basketball at this YMCA. Talk about changing the community.

This brings us to Campaign Season. Because the Y is a non-profit agency, we raise most of the money we need to support the financial assistance program through fundraising during our campaign. Campaign Season runs from Mid-January through February, and every YMCA has a goal for funding. The staff, and several community members donate to make this Y a better place. For the first time ever, the YMCA of the USA is running a national advertising campaign and the commercials are really pulling my heart strings. I have been employed here for almost 3 years, have worked at 3 different branches, and have done work in 3 different departments.

These commercials, and the stories I hear from members, remind me why I am so passionate about working here, and making a difference. Ad Week just selected these Y campaign ads as Ad of the Day, and I couldn't be happier that I help make this happen every day.

The YMCA is
For Youth Development
For Healthy Living
For Social Responsibility

and so am I.

twenty sixteen

As this new semester unfolds, I am stared down by responsibility I have, and the looming commitment that is my college graduation. In 3 months and 26 days, I will walk across the stage and receive a (very charming) diploma case; and then I get handed the real present; "adult responsibility". If we are defining this on my personal level: bills, apartments, moving, and jobs. Sounds terrible right? WRONG.

There is so much more to post graduation than I give it credit for. I can say I "did the thing!", and I can become gainfully employed; I can apply for graduate school, or I can stay where I am. I hope to become happy, and I hope that I become what I aim to be. But, that's a little too emotional for me right now. (see next paragraph)

This semester (my last!) I have the ultimate honor being the Project Manager for our AAF competition piece. I have the honor of interning for an amazing non-profit (Oklahoma Visual Arts Coalition), and maintaining my job at the YMCA. I have 3 more classes: JUST 9 HOURS stand between me and leaving, but I feel the pang of sadness when I think about leaving UCO. This place that has been my home, and these people who have taught me so many things. My friends are here, my professors, my advisers, family, and sisters. Leaving this place is scary. I feel like that Kevin Hart video! Where could I even start?

Let's Start Here:

I promise to love hard. I promise to spend my time bettering; myself, my relationships, my friendships, my body. I promise to stay in contact with those who have touched my life, and to remain loyal to my values. I promise to live my life as a journey, not a destination. I promise to explore all the things I haven't yet, and to approach all of those things with an open mind and heart. I promise to make a new friend everywhere I go, and to put in more effort to expand my horizons. I promise to love myself, and love myself hard.

I am so innately fortunate to have amazing friends and family to "hold my hand" throughout the way, and I hope that I make them proud, because they make me proud every single day.

Do good, do well.
-A