23, 4:56 AM, December 11th

At 4:56 AM, on December 11, 1992, I came into this world, causing my first (of many) scenes. 

I guess you could say that I have literally been impatient my whole life. I was born a month premature, probably because I was just bored. My uncle Doug was set to turn 31 the day that I was born, and I often joke about being the best birthday present anyone has ever received. Reflecting back now, I may have been wrong.

Today, I turn 23 and my uncle turns 21 for the umpteenth time. Today, I not only celebrate my birthday, but I celebrate the end of my first semester of my senior year of college. Today, while I celebrate my success, I mourn that neither of my parents are here to celebrate with me. Which is why I have to put this blog post into the world. Let me tell you about the best birthday present I have ever received. 

My uncle Doug is no stranger to my mistakes, but he loves me anyway. Even though he will be the first to tell you about his Tinkerbell tattoo, or all of the shenanigans he got into in his "younger" days, he is one of the most wise people I have ever had the pleasure of being related to. While he will tell you he isn't the authority on wisdom, I have to beg to differ. He is a man who helped me grow up (in my rebellious teen years) by telling me "I won't blow sunshine up your ass. I have to tell you how it is." My uncle has always cared passionately, loved hard; and has always been fiercely loyal to the truth. 

I am sure it's hard to believe that its been 23 years since that 3 AM phone call. I am sure that you're not used to receiving phone calls from a young woman, asking you to talk her down from the ledge because she just bought plane tickets on her own for the first time. You didn't sign up to step in, but you did, and you did it gladly. When I need you, you're a phone call away, and even though I have never lived in Lee's Summit, I feel at home there. Your role was supposed to be my really-cool uncle, but you have taken on another role that is, dare I say, parental? I haven't done anything so grand in my life as to be lucky enough to be related to you. You and Debbie have brought me in like one of your own, and I am so blessed to have the relationship I do with you. I can only hope it gets better. I miss you everyday that I am not there, and I love you so much. Thank you for being the best birthday present I have ever received, you mean the world to me, all I can do is say thank you,

and share my favorite photo of us:

Happy Birthday Uncle Doug,

There is no one I would rather share one with.

Bloomingdale's and the Date-Rape Ad

It is a rare thing that keeps advertisers and marketing representatives alike; awake, wandering the halls of their quaint, urban, apartments at night: the fear encased in the release of new print or digital advertisements and exactly how the public will perceive it. Even with as much as advertisers can see into the mind of consumers everywhere (thanks to systems like Nielsen and Simmons), there is still a chance that the consumer won't appreciate a message the way you meant it to be. 

On that same coin, I can't place blame on consumers for seeing this message the way they did, and quite frankly, as an advertising fanatic student, I can't see how it made it out of the creative department in the first place. The print copy states "Spike your best friend's eggnog, when they're not looking." Kind of harmless, right? NO. And, if the copy itself weren't bad enough, the image features a man looking staring at a smiling woman, who just happens to be looking away, laughing. Now with tensions in the female community directly related to date-rape and similar traumas, one would assume we shouldn't joke about those kinds of things, thus normalizing rape - as is fairly typical of today's society. It's not just an issue with the desensitization of rape in our society, it's with the ultimate objectification of women that occurs every. single. day. 

(You can read the Ad Week article that features Bloomingdale's apology as well as a link to the image, here.)

Society as a whole has an issue with women, and even as a Strategic Communication (Advertising and Public Relations) major, I see it all the time in advertisements: from this BMW ad, to this Tom Ford ad, there is no shortage of creepy advertisements out there that have everything to do with making objects out of people. This is causing a much larger problem in society, and arguably contributing to not only violence towards women, but violence as a whole towards everyone. While I know there are several campaigns out there that have overly-sexualized men as a response, it is far more common for women to be portrayed as an object and no more. So when do we say no more? 

Recently, CollegeHumor released a video about sexual assault and violence, (here; seriously watch it, it's amazing) and it's purpose was comparing sexual assault to a bear. Joining ranks with other videos such as Consent (but with tea), it is using a humorous platform to stand up and speak out against date-rape, but the underlying issue still stands. Our society thinks of women as objects, inherently. Who knows if it started with cave-men, or if it lingered hard during the picturesque 1950's, but one thing is for certain, something needs to change. I am not an object. Women are not objects. Men aren't objects. People aren't objects. Objects are objects, and enough is enough. While I can't afford to shop at Bloomingdale's anyway, it's a testament to humanity that this ad got approved in the first place. Jokes are funny, violence isn't. Stand up for what you believe in, and one day we will all matter. 

Nous Sommes Tous Des Gens

Je ne m'en fous, a french phrase meaning I don't care. (Some translations include some more vulgar translations, but for this post, let's consider it I don't care.)

Je ne m'en fous si vous êtes américain. I don't care if you are American.
Je ne m'en fous si vous êtes jeune ou vieux. I don't care if you are young or old. Je ne m'en fous si vous êtes à propos de votre religion. I don't care about your religion.

What I do care about are people, and in Paris, yesterday, the world lost over 150 people. Normal, everyday people, out at a cafe, or enjoying a concert. 150 people have been hurt in this war. This war about conflicting view-points. This war that has killed not only hundreds of people in Paris, but thousands around the world. By no means am I trying to lessen the blow of the impact the Parisian Terror Attacks will have on global history, but I want people to know that there are several instances that do not get televised. Hundreds of people are killed everyday in Syria and Iraq, and this is so frequent that I AM SYRIA (a not-for-profit education resource) has an updated daily death toll calculator here. ISIS is terrorizing the entire world, and while the États Unis et Russie (United States and Russia) have made attempts at air strikes, it may be too late. One of the Parisian attackers was a French national, identified by fingerprints (source). I can't say for certain how many attacks there will be, or even if we will ever see and end, but I do know one thing, we will always stand together. Those of us who choose to band together, and not stand apart. Those of us who hold hands, instead of holding grudges. What these terrorists did was an attempt to tear us all apart, but we have the opportunity as Americans, Parisians, and people to bond together, to love each other through the hate. 


The day after 9/11, the headline of the French newspaper Le Monde read, "Nous sommes tous américains". Meaning, we are all American. Today, after the attacks in Paris, Le Soir (a different newspaper) reads, "Nous sommes tous des Parisiens". And today, after all has been said and done, I believe it to be Nous sommes tous des gens. We are all people.

My sincere apology for any misspellings or mistranslated phrases, I am an Elementary French II student, and not a native speaker.

I'm not the model citizen; #OSUStrong #BronchoStrong

Today, I sat in the CHK Central Oklahoma Boathouse in downtown OKC, and listened while a man named Mike Beard spoke about the United Nations new Sustainable Goals. These goals include limiting poverty, cleaning up slums, and generally improving the world and peace keeping efforts on a global scale. 

Shortly before I left this morning to attend this luncheon, I recognized the all too familiar sound of a flat tire. Luckily, I was still at my apartment complex and I was able to call my roommates boyfriend to come help me change the tire. We got it fixed and I left for the United Nations Association- Greater OKC luncheon, to celebrate United Nations day, and the 70th anniversary of this wonderful global organization. 

As I pulled into the boathouse district, I reflected on some of the events that are occurring around the world, and how the UN Sustainable Goals will influence the violent behaviors we are seeing demonstrated on the global stage right now. The bombing in Syria, and the Immigration Crisis in not only Europe but Central America, even things out of human control such as Hurricane Patricia. I reflected on the world that I want to change, I reflected on how I could. Then I heard the news: 

A friend of mine seated next to me at this lunch, leaned over and asked me if I had seen what was happening in Stillwater. I had not, so I immediately went to my number 1 local news source, Facebook. Sure enough, some of the people I am friends with had shared news articles, and witness accounts of what had gone on just 2 hours before our lunch had begun. A woman, just 2 years older than myself, had run her car (drunkenly) into the homecoming parade in Stillwater. Oklahoma State University students, as well as young children were killed or seriously injured because of this woman. Among those who were killed, a University of Central Oklahoma MBA student. 

If I know anything, it's that Oklahoma bands together in the face of adversity. Cowboys, Sooners, and yes, even Bronchos come together today to spread prayer and hope across the campus of OSU. It's time for this to end. Drunk driving is dangerous, and with programs like Uber and Lyft, there is no reason for it. It was 10:30 in the morning, and for some, it was their first homecoming. For others, it was a grim reminder that life is so short. This time, I won't look the other way. Don't drive if you are drunk. DO NOT DRIVE IF YOU ARE DRUNK. Sleep in your car, crash on someone's couch. Please, do not get behind the wheel if you can't drive. If you know me personally, ask me for my cell number. I will come get you, no matter what time it is, judgement free, wherever you are. 

Someone took 4 lives today. She injured 27 others. She ruined the lives of families everywhere, because she chose to do it. For the good of the world, on a global scale, please, do not drink and drive. 

To the Mom With Cheerios on Her Back

I was with you, leaving your apartment. You had a one year old on your hip, and an almost 3 year old screaming and running around your legs. There was crumples of bread on the table, and Cheerios in your couch cushions. You were watching How to Train Your Dragon 2, for the 4th time in 12 hours. You had apologized no less than 15 times for all of that, I gladly accepted. You were getting ready to leave, and had magically managed to sling your purse on your shoulder while holding an infant in your arms and finishing a sentence. I saw this as magical and then I heard a noise. It was the sound of Cheerios falling against the wood floor; you had Cheerios stuck to your back. 

You had sat on the couch and fed your child her bottle, and your 3 year old had asked for a snack. I took him to the kitchen and negotiated Cheerios and Cheez-its like I had been doing it all my life. You looked at me and asked if you could go to the bathroom, and I realized then that you probably hadn't been in that room by yourself in almost 3 years.

Your 3 year old had gotten very excited and spilled his whole bowl of Cheerios down the back side of the sofa, and these little O shaped badges of courage had clung to your back. I quickly collected them in the palm of my hand and we laughed together. You are a beautiful mother. 

You think your youthful glow was lost long ago, and you let your insecurities get the best of you. You constantly put your parenthood down, but let me tell you what I see: In the previous weeks of spending time with you, I have watched you get thrown up on, but I have also watched you care for your children's safety. Sometimes we have to tell them it's not okay to stand on a window ledge or to touch the (boiling hot) French Press coffee maker. I have seen exactly how beautiful you are, inside and out, as you cared for me after I lost my father. I have seen your terrified looks of embarrassment as your 3 year old does his best impression of a pterodactyl. All the while me telling you that it's all okay and I'm not bothered by it. You are a wonderful person, both inside and out, don't ever forget that. 

You, the Cheerio decorated den-mother of parenthood. You, the role model I have always looked up to. You, my most favorite family member. You are a true blessing to those around you, you're just as beautiful as you always have been, and 31 may be a number, but you make it look effortless. 

I love you to the stars and back. 

Hatred in the Heartland

So, I normally prefer to remain (relatively) poised on social media, but today something happened that embarrassed me for the state of my country. I am "friends" on Facebook with one of my Mother's old co-workers, and she is your typical hardcore right wing conservative. She thinks we help the needy too much, and thinks all Muslims are terrorists. A real gem. 

Anyway, I am happily scrolling through my feed when I happen upon a listing; pages long of why Muslims are a terrorist group. Generalizing a whole people because of the actions of a few people who have taken the idea and twisted it. I immediately felt heat in my face radiating to my torso and I was ready to comment her a new asshole, when I stopped. I had typed out a scathing comment about being a racist and being degrading, and I stopped. I blocked this woman and reported her post for being "offensive to a group, race, or minority" (I think that's how Facebook phrases it.) 

This got me to thinking about the problem with races and religions in America. Why is it SO hard for certain American's to let go of their pre (and often ill) conceived notions about race and religious affiliations. I hate to say this, but it doesn't just stop at Muslims. Black men and women; men and women from the Middle East; men and women who practice in the Church of Latter Day Saints. There is stigma attached to every single one of those groups of people. And it's all horse shit. 

Racism (along with sexism and prejudice) is NOT nature for human beings. There is scientific research out there to prove that. It's taught. Racism is learned. Sexism is learned. Prejudice is learned. You are the greatest reflection of what you want the world to be like. Yes, I have made racist statements before. I admit it. Do I regret those choices I made? Yes. Am I deeply sorry? Yes. It doesn't make it okay, at all, and I agree. Please know that I know more now than I used to, and while not knowing isn't an excuse, I hope education (educating myself and others) will fix the issue. 

Please believe me when I say that these views aren't shared by all people. I know that Muslim does not equal terrorist. Please people, change your way of seeing others. If you believe in God and the Bible, than please, consider the words "love thy neighbor as thyself." If you are calling your neighbor a terrorist or insinuating that your neighbor is a terrorist, you are only part of the problem. Be proactive, instead of complaining, change yourself instead. 

-screenshots of original Facebook post, warning post contains strong stupidity-

-EDITORS NOTE: a lot of these "facts" aren't even real, please take this for what it is worth and consider.-

The Oklahoma "Confederacy"

Oklahoma has been a perpetual national embarrassment as of late. Between the embarrassment of being openly hateful towards homosexuals, and the actions of our governor Mary Fallin, we have made national news quite a bit lately. I will say not much of this comes as a surprise to a veteran Okie like me, I have after all lived here my whole life. Honestly, I love being an Oklahoman. However, this hate, this rage fueled expression of disgusting proportions, is not My Oklahoma.  

My Oklahoma, the place where we wave to strangers at a 4 way stop; My Oklahoma, where when tragedy strikes, we band together to make a difference in the lives of people who lost something; My Oklahoma, where there are open skies and (mostly) open hearted people; My Oklahoma, the place where my friend's family's adopted me when I lost mine, and where someone is fairly likely to give you directions using the phrases: "y'all", "up the road a-ways", and maybe even "over yonder". My Oklahoma is a place where people from all walks of life gather to attend a local food truck rally, and where we can all get behind one basketball team, be it high school, college, or professional. My Oklahoma loves high school football. My Oklahoma is shaped like a pan, and generally only extends hatred towards the Texas Longhorns. 

I realize that when President Barack Obama visited our "Great State", what he was shown was disgusting (not to mention, stupid. Oklahoma wasn't even part of the Confederacy). Especially with what has been going on with racism across America, to display the Confederate battle flag to our President, (who also happens to be a person of color) is just distasteful. It was wrong, and I do not agree with it. On behalf of all the people in Oklahoma who do NOT represent that Oklahoma, I am sorry. I am sorry that the interaction you saw represented this state in a way that I don't agree with. I am sorry that they represented us in a way that is so offensive to so many. I am sorry that you were subjected to the hideous behavior that these few people committed. Most of all, I am sorry that I have to go out into the world a proud Okie, and that I could forever carry the label that so few portrayed the actions of. 

The Confederate battle flag represented a separate entity than the United States of America. The Confederacy represented hatred, and the oppression of the "inferior colored people" (—William T. Thompson (April 23, 1863), Daily Morning News) The men who decided that this was the issue they wanted to fight for, we're not what I see today when I look at my life in Oklahoma. Yes, our governor is a dipshit. Yes, there ARE racists here (systemically, they are everywhere). Yes, there are people here who Bible thump their way through any and all situations. There are also people here who love unconditionally. There are people here who represent the true spirit of America, the land of the free and the home of the brave. There are genuine people here, not everyone is a backwards redneck who doesn't understand that it does not mean what he thinks it means. 

This is a small Okie blogger reaching out to say, we aren't all the same, and it will take time for some of them to understand, but we will all get there. We have to fight this fight together, because that's the only way we win. 

-I know Martin Luther King wasn't around for the Civil War, I just really like his thoughts on hate-