To the Mom With Cheerios on Her Back

I was with you, leaving your apartment. You had a one year old on your hip, and an almost 3 year old screaming and running around your legs. There was crumples of bread on the table, and Cheerios in your couch cushions. You were watching How to Train Your Dragon 2, for the 4th time in 12 hours. You had apologized no less than 15 times for all of that, I gladly accepted. You were getting ready to leave, and had magically managed to sling your purse on your shoulder while holding an infant in your arms and finishing a sentence. I saw this as magical and then I heard a noise. It was the sound of Cheerios falling against the wood floor; you had Cheerios stuck to your back. 

You had sat on the couch and fed your child her bottle, and your 3 year old had asked for a snack. I took him to the kitchen and negotiated Cheerios and Cheez-its like I had been doing it all my life. You looked at me and asked if you could go to the bathroom, and I realized then that you probably hadn't been in that room by yourself in almost 3 years.

Your 3 year old had gotten very excited and spilled his whole bowl of Cheerios down the back side of the sofa, and these little O shaped badges of courage had clung to your back. I quickly collected them in the palm of my hand and we laughed together. You are a beautiful mother. 

You think your youthful glow was lost long ago, and you let your insecurities get the best of you. You constantly put your parenthood down, but let me tell you what I see: In the previous weeks of spending time with you, I have watched you get thrown up on, but I have also watched you care for your children's safety. Sometimes we have to tell them it's not okay to stand on a window ledge or to touch the (boiling hot) French Press coffee maker. I have seen exactly how beautiful you are, inside and out, as you cared for me after I lost my father. I have seen your terrified looks of embarrassment as your 3 year old does his best impression of a pterodactyl. All the while me telling you that it's all okay and I'm not bothered by it. You are a wonderful person, both inside and out, don't ever forget that. 

You, the Cheerio decorated den-mother of parenthood. You, the role model I have always looked up to. You, my most favorite family member. You are a true blessing to those around you, you're just as beautiful as you always have been, and 31 may be a number, but you make it look effortless. 

I love you to the stars and back. 

Hatred in the Heartland

So, I normally prefer to remain (relatively) poised on social media, but today something happened that embarrassed me for the state of my country. I am "friends" on Facebook with one of my Mother's old co-workers, and she is your typical hardcore right wing conservative. She thinks we help the needy too much, and thinks all Muslims are terrorists. A real gem. 

Anyway, I am happily scrolling through my feed when I happen upon a listing; pages long of why Muslims are a terrorist group. Generalizing a whole people because of the actions of a few people who have taken the idea and twisted it. I immediately felt heat in my face radiating to my torso and I was ready to comment her a new asshole, when I stopped. I had typed out a scathing comment about being a racist and being degrading, and I stopped. I blocked this woman and reported her post for being "offensive to a group, race, or minority" (I think that's how Facebook phrases it.) 

This got me to thinking about the problem with races and religions in America. Why is it SO hard for certain American's to let go of their pre (and often ill) conceived notions about race and religious affiliations. I hate to say this, but it doesn't just stop at Muslims. Black men and women; men and women from the Middle East; men and women who practice in the Church of Latter Day Saints. There is stigma attached to every single one of those groups of people. And it's all horse shit. 

Racism (along with sexism and prejudice) is NOT nature for human beings. There is scientific research out there to prove that. It's taught. Racism is learned. Sexism is learned. Prejudice is learned. You are the greatest reflection of what you want the world to be like. Yes, I have made racist statements before. I admit it. Do I regret those choices I made? Yes. Am I deeply sorry? Yes. It doesn't make it okay, at all, and I agree. Please know that I know more now than I used to, and while not knowing isn't an excuse, I hope education (educating myself and others) will fix the issue. 

Please believe me when I say that these views aren't shared by all people. I know that Muslim does not equal terrorist. Please people, change your way of seeing others. If you believe in God and the Bible, than please, consider the words "love thy neighbor as thyself." If you are calling your neighbor a terrorist or insinuating that your neighbor is a terrorist, you are only part of the problem. Be proactive, instead of complaining, change yourself instead. 

-screenshots of original Facebook post, warning post contains strong stupidity-

-EDITORS NOTE: a lot of these "facts" aren't even real, please take this for what it is worth and consider.-

The Oklahoma "Confederacy"

Oklahoma has been a perpetual national embarrassment as of late. Between the embarrassment of being openly hateful towards homosexuals, and the actions of our governor Mary Fallin, we have made national news quite a bit lately. I will say not much of this comes as a surprise to a veteran Okie like me, I have after all lived here my whole life. Honestly, I love being an Oklahoman. However, this hate, this rage fueled expression of disgusting proportions, is not My Oklahoma.  

My Oklahoma, the place where we wave to strangers at a 4 way stop; My Oklahoma, where when tragedy strikes, we band together to make a difference in the lives of people who lost something; My Oklahoma, where there are open skies and (mostly) open hearted people; My Oklahoma, the place where my friend's family's adopted me when I lost mine, and where someone is fairly likely to give you directions using the phrases: "y'all", "up the road a-ways", and maybe even "over yonder". My Oklahoma is a place where people from all walks of life gather to attend a local food truck rally, and where we can all get behind one basketball team, be it high school, college, or professional. My Oklahoma loves high school football. My Oklahoma is shaped like a pan, and generally only extends hatred towards the Texas Longhorns. 

I realize that when President Barack Obama visited our "Great State", what he was shown was disgusting (not to mention, stupid. Oklahoma wasn't even part of the Confederacy). Especially with what has been going on with racism across America, to display the Confederate battle flag to our President, (who also happens to be a person of color) is just distasteful. It was wrong, and I do not agree with it. On behalf of all the people in Oklahoma who do NOT represent that Oklahoma, I am sorry. I am sorry that the interaction you saw represented this state in a way that I don't agree with. I am sorry that they represented us in a way that is so offensive to so many. I am sorry that you were subjected to the hideous behavior that these few people committed. Most of all, I am sorry that I have to go out into the world a proud Okie, and that I could forever carry the label that so few portrayed the actions of. 

The Confederate battle flag represented a separate entity than the United States of America. The Confederacy represented hatred, and the oppression of the "inferior colored people" (—William T. Thompson (April 23, 1863), Daily Morning News) The men who decided that this was the issue they wanted to fight for, we're not what I see today when I look at my life in Oklahoma. Yes, our governor is a dipshit. Yes, there ARE racists here (systemically, they are everywhere). Yes, there are people here who Bible thump their way through any and all situations. There are also people here who love unconditionally. There are people here who represent the true spirit of America, the land of the free and the home of the brave. There are genuine people here, not everyone is a backwards redneck who doesn't understand that it does not mean what he thinks it means. 

This is a small Okie blogger reaching out to say, we aren't all the same, and it will take time for some of them to understand, but we will all get there. We have to fight this fight together, because that's the only way we win. 

-I know Martin Luther King wasn't around for the Civil War, I just really like his thoughts on hate-

Ashley, the beautiful.

As we all are aware, July 4th consists of Americans being more American for a 24 hour period than they are the other 364 days of the (non-leap) year. At 11:59 PM on July 3rd, we can all agree that America as a whole could definitely improve a bit. However, once that clock rolls around to 12:00 AM July 4th, the bald eagle inside all of us is unleashed and we start to bleed red, white, and blue. The same effect is quickly achieved at 12:00 AM July 5th, where we move on from the torrent of star spangled debauchery, back into our homes and into our beds to await the next glistening holiday weekend. 

Today, I woke up, much like any other Saturday, ready to go back to sleep. So, I called my friend to tell her that I would not be attending our weekly ritual of heading out to our local farmers market, and would instead be enjoying a few more hours with the inside of my eyelids. About an hour into this, I woke up from a nightmare about school, and got out of bed to get dressed and head to the grocery store. 

As I approached the store, the parking lot was over-run with soccer moms, and dads who probably forgot that their wives great aunt Charlene is a vegan, who needs a food substitute. I decided that Crest was a little too full for me, so I moved on to the slightly over priced, but definitely more convenient, Sprouts, up the street. As I walked up to the store, they had a small display of multi colored neon cacti. I'm serious when I say that these were living neon cacti. I bought a pink one. I bought my groceries and headed back to my apartment. Shortly after, my friend and I were hungry, so we celebrated America Day by investing in some Vietnamese Pho. What a trip! 

We drove to the other side of town to go to her moms to meet up with her family to go to the carnival being held at the biggest park in Bethany. We rode 2 rides and walked through the maze house. One called Cliff Hanger (a sort of hang-gliding ride) and the other a generic Ferris Wheel. We had a blast. I played a farirway game in the hopes to win a goldfish, and I ended up winning a turtle and a goldfish! The turtle, now named Crush, will be taking residence at my best friend's house. The goldfish on the other hand, a soon to be new resident at my house, named Nixon, will be moving in tomorrow after I can get to Petsmart to get him a new bowl and some food. 

All and all, I had a wonderful evening that I wouldn't trade for anything. 

Life is a Beautiful Adventure

So, here we are. 6/25/2015. I am less than a year from graduating from college. I am very excited and very nervous. It's almost time to move up in the world, to have a job that I love. It feels strange that I'm so close to the point of culmination. I have been working at this for so long, it feels like I won't know what to do when it's gone. 

College graduate. A phrase I never could have imagined would be next to my name. And while I am not quite there yet, being who I am, I have already begun considering my choices for where I could end up. My minds unavoidable wondering has caught me daydreaming of places like New York City, or Chicago. Being of sound mind, and above average breast size (thanks Easy-A) I can't help but to question my sanity. I have never used public transportation. In the "small" (lol) city of Oklahoma City, public transportation is to be avoided like the plague unless you have no other choice. 

I grew up in a city of roughly 610 Thousand people, while Manhattan alone has 1.64 Million, not counting the other Burroughs. That's more than double. Chicago has 2.72 Million, that's more than QUADRUPLE. Needless to say, that's a lot more than I am used to. What's a girl from the Southern Midwest to do? 

I will tell you. She is to put her head high and submit some applications. If there is one thing my Southern Midwest (Okies really don't know how to label themselves geographically) lifestyle has taught me, it's that you always work your ass off for what you want. So what if the first trip I take to New York is the day I move there, or maybe even the time I go to be interviewed? I am bound and determined to see the world from more than the Tornado Alley. 

I have spent my entire young life Googling places like NYC, Chicago, London, and Tokyo. Because I haven't had the opportunity to go. I can't even imagine being able to wake up there. What if I move away and get the smell of the city on me? What if they hate the way I say y'all? What about the accent, will I lose it? Can I even get cornbread in NYC?! (Okay, but that's not a real concern I have.)

I have such an opportunity ahead of me, and I look forward to getting where I am going. Let me at 'em, & I will hit 'em with that Okie charm. 

Pitch Perfect 2 as a Social Movement

Yesterday I was one of many sitting in a crowded theater, floors sticky and chairs just uncomfortable enough to keep you awake. I was attending the 6:30 PM showing of Pitch Perfect 2 with my friends Valerie and Wendi.

So, there we are sitting about halfway back when the weirdest commercial I have ever seen comes on, It was for Chobani yogurt, and I couldn't be more surprised. Past the very odd commercial blending dirt, cows, and yogurt, we sat through previews of movies that we didn't particularly want to see, to finally get to the gold. The opening scene included Barack and Michelle Obama, as well as a mishap at the historic Kennedy Center. As well as including some very interesting social references. At a point in our nation's history where race relations have spiked to the forefront again, there is a lot of referencing towards minorities not only in race, but also in the fact that they are women. Take for instance the character Cynthia Rose, at a certain point in PP2 when a reference to a minority is made she looks at the person who makes the reference and says "I'm black, gay, and a woman." At this point, at least in my theater (I live in Oklahoma so it is a proud moment) people started to clap. It says a lot to me because this means we are becoming more aware as a whole that these issues exist.

There is also an Asian and a (I believe) Guatemalan woman represented in the cast. There is a man in the cast that is strongly disliked by most who have seen the films, John the announcer has throughout both plots been a severe sexist and in PP2 even makes the statement that "this is what happens when you allow women in college." It thrills me that in my theater this was met with groans and anger from the majority of the audience.

I know that in modern times it is easy to forget but very recently women weren't allowed to be educated at the collegiate level. It also means a lot to me that you could tell that people were uncomfortable with some of the racial slurs and anti-women comments that were made. Uncomfortable is the first step towards action. As a modern feminist, I have to wonder how it took so long for a movie to come to the forefront that demonstrates such strong female ideals, but it really isn't. Clueless, Legally Blonde, Miss Congeniality, and Easy A. There is also a long list of movies that have much deeper sub-messages than most people realize: see The Breakfast Club, Mean Girls, Hairspray, and 13 Going on 30. Demonstrate high ideals, and eventually we will all be equal. Work for it, we will earn it. Together.

Intern Search 2015

So, here we all are. April 2015 and I am looking for an internship. I have applied at a handful of places both in Oklahoma City (my native land) and Texas (the closest large market). Pending all of these applications, I can't help but wonder if I will end up somewhere that I want to. Every place I have applied at has its own strength, and much like the employees, those individual strengths make up the genetics for a fantastic work environment. 

Whether it is a full service agency or not, all of these companies bring something to the table that I admire. While this is certainly true, I can only hope that they will see that I could contribute something to their table. 

Things about me that you won't find on my resume:

• My incredible sense of humor. 

• My set of moral obligations. 

• My sense of leadership and ownership. 

• My sense of self. 

• My contributions to group work. 

• My generally happy demeanor. 

• My community side.

Here's hoping that I seal the deal with one of the companies I have applied to, I know I would be thrilled to work with any one of them.